Jobs, Shmobs...

I had a job interview this week for a personal banking position. I seldom get nervous about interviews as I tend to be awesome at them. With that in mind, I boldly walked in with nothing prepared. I was just going to relax and play it by ear. It started off with, “So, tell me a little bit about yourself.” I froze. I NEVER get that question first. They always go over the resume or tell you something about the company. I can tell you my job history, reasons why I’m the person for the job, my best and worst qualities, really just everything you should need to know for an interview… except, apparently, who I am. My mind is racing and ALL I can think of is, “I’m funny.”


“…I’m funny and I draw pictures. Cartoon-me goes on all kinds of silly adventures. I‘m funny. I‘m witty, that‘s sort of different from funny, right? Come on! I can‘t use any of this!”  To be quite honest, I don’t even remember what I actually eventually babbled, but I’m sure it sounded idiotic.


Ah, jobs. Seriously kids, we need to find a less-conventional way for me to make money. I’m a free spirit. I can’t be contained by an office!


I decided that instead of looking through the new jobs that were posted today, I’d just draw pictures of everything I wish I could do instead.

Dinosaur tamer. I mean, no doubt it'd be hard work and there's always the risk of getting eaten... but with some gentle guidance and a lot of whipping, I'm sure they'd do fine.

Space cowboy. In the cold vacuum of space SOMEONE'S gotta be there to lay down the law. I say that person is me. 

Queen of the whole world. Not only would I relax in style with my blue bean bag chair, but I'd have adoring masses flocking to pay homage to me, their liege. Not to mention the horde of the undead to do my bidding. Comes with the territory.

Viking pillager. People have too much stuff these days. They need someone to come by and take some of that stuff off their hands. I, of course, am more than happy to be of service.

Hippie. Who wouldn't want to sit around all day singing songs about "The Man" and smelling? Yeah, exactly.

Black Market organ salesman. I got a couple extra parts I'm not currently using and let's admit it... human organs go for a lot of money.

Ooooor maybe I'll just do this...